ambris:

black-to-the-bones:

the most accurate thing i have seen in a while

I like how no one needs to say what this is about. We all know.

therareandferociousswamprabbit:

“Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the seventeenth-floor writers’ room, waiting for the Wednesday night read-through to start. […] Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can’t remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and oud and “unladylike”, 
Jimmy Fallon […] turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, “Stop that! It’s not cute! I don’t like it.”
Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. “I don’t fucking care if you like it.” Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit.
With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it.”

- Tina Fey, Bossypants

This one never gets old.

koolinwitjay:

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭I feel lightheaded

cobaltdays:

psyducked:

I remember the second time I ever bottomed the guy used something he called “love garden” which was supposed to help with the pain because I said how much I hated bottoming the first time—and I was amazed! Although it still felt like taking a shit I at least didn’t feel like someone was digging in me like they were looking for a spoon in the garbage disposal. But the morning after I went to go poop and everything fell out of me with no push or anything and I noticed I had a one inch gape! 9 hours later! I spent the next 12 hours having panic attacks and considered how I would call my mom and explain to her that I needed my hole sewn up when at last I regained control and clenched back up.

Anyway, my man Elmo here is looking exactly how I looked when I went to inspect myself that morning and could slide 4 fingers in without blinking

What in god’s name did I just read,,,,